I have never seen this many people that look like me before.
Yesterday, after we popped back over to Groeningemuseum to pick up a puzzle that I decided I wanted, we got on the road Izegem, the town my mom was born in. The drive wasn’t too long and we were soon pulling into the parking lot of the only hotel in town, where my dad was just leaving, which was very handy since we didn’t really have a solid plan on meeting up. We dropped bags and Dad took us over to the Markt where my mom and sister were prowling the aisles of the market. While not as large as the Ghent market, it looked like some of the trucks were the same, supporting EDP’s theory that the large vendors just drive from market to market. After a quick circuit, we saw my mom’s cousin and her SO, who we were meeting for an aperitif and lunch.
After intros, which included the first widening of the eyes at how much I resemble my mother, we got settled onto a lovely little patio with drinks all around. We learned how to properly say “thank you” in Flemish (I KNEW google was wrong when it said it was “merci'“) and also learned that Flemish doesn’t have a written language! My mom’s cousin explained that kids learn Dutch in school, that Flemish is just something that’s spoken and that when someone from West Flanders is on TV, like on the news, it has to get subtitled because folks in Antwerp won’t understand what they are saying. This was an entirely fascinating learning and explains why I couldn’t get some Flemish basics on duolingo before we left. After our aperitif, we headed just down the road for lunch, where I obviously had cheese croquettes and we had a rousing conversation about croquettes and the potato ones that we used to have on holidays at my mother’s parents’ house.
After lunch, we headed over to the local Coscto equivalent to pick up some snacks for today’s meet-and-greet and then we were dropped off at pétanque facility, where my great-aunt and great-uncle were in a tournament or maybe just enjoying a Saturday afternoon game? I’m not entirely sure. Pétanque was very similar to bocce and we definitely got a glare from one of the players when we cheered my great-aunt on a little too much for her taste. My great-uncle wasn’t playing so we got to chat with him for a bit. My mom had warned us that no one spoke English so we were expecting to mostly just smile & nod for the time we spent with family - but my great-uncle knew more than enough English for us to have a lovely conversation with him. Once the game had ended, my mom and sister and I walked back to the hotel with my great-aunt, while my dad and EDP hitched a ride back with my great-uncle. We got back to the hotel at about the same time, as they stopped to check out my great-uncle’s champagne cellar. Then, it was time for a little nap before heading back out for the evening to celebrate my great-aunt and great-uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary.
And this anniversary dinner…. Whoa. The place we went to was like having a little share of a huge wedding reception. We were in a private room but there were two large rooms (plus several smaller rooms like ours) with tables seating anywhere from 2 to 10 people. Our group, which included my mom’s other cousin, was tucked into our own room where Cava and Kir Royale were constantly flowing. Our waiter was coming around with a frequency that can only be described as almost constant, topping off glasses the moment a sip was gone. Very quickly, I learned to decline when he was at my place because that Kir Royale was delicious and it was dangerously easy to drink more than you thought you were. As everyone filed in, we met my mom’s other cousin and my second cousins. We also learned there isn’t really a word for cousin in Flemish so they say niece or nephew, which led to some momentary confusion later on when my 18-year-old second cousin mentioned her nephew before we remembered she was talking about her cousin! Anyway, soon our orders for the main course were taken and an amuse bouche was brought around. Not long after that, there was a MASSIVE appetizer buffet where I found my precious cheese croquettes plus many other tasty things to try. That’s when the Cava and Kir Royale transitioned to white wine and I finally felt confident that I could enjoy my Kir Royale without fear of it being topped up when I wasn’t looking. Then, it was onto the main course - there were several options, just like at a wedding, and frankly, the cauliflower would have been worth writing home about if it wasn’t for the fact that my family was all right there. Somewhere in there, red wine started circulating and I doubled down on my vigilance to pay attention to my glass because I didn’t want to lose track of how much I had consumed. Lucky for me, dessert soon followed - in buffet form. It was glorious. There was a billion different kinds of mousse, candy, tiny tarts & pies, and ice cream scooped by someone that I’m pretty sure was running afoul of child labour laws. Obviously, I was in heaven. Once all the food cleared away, the dancing started. And let me tell you, the Flemish (maybe all the Belgians?) really love a good line dance. I did get dragged up for one of them, it was some kind of partnered dance that my mom’s cousin insisted I needed to partake in. She didn’t really seem to know it either so we sort of just bumbled along. We were just starting to get the hang of it when the song ended. Anyway, it was hilarious to see the crowds descend on the dance floor whenever one of these line dances started and then clear right away when the dance was over. My great-aunt and great-uncle even got to have a special anniversary dance, which was lovely. It was such a smart idea for a celebration dinner and we had a great time getting to know the family better. It was a very late night, though - I think I fell asleep in the elevator when we got back to the hotel.
Today was another big day. We started the day off with our mummy-daughter book club - we normally meet in November but with all of us travelling in different directions at different times, we figured we’d make the most of being in the same spot. As per usual, we spent approximately 3.8 minutes talking about the book before moving on to talking about anything else under the sun - in this case, mostly the anniversary dinner. Then, EDP and I went for a bit of a walk to get some fresh air before we all headed over to my great-aunt and great-uncle’s house for a visit to the champagne cellar and an apertif before going to lunch at a spot my mom’s cousin told us about where they had some very special ham, which was very delicious, as were my cheese croquettes. What?! This was our last proper day in Belgium, I had to get them!
Then, it was on to the meet-and-greet. We had sort of a pub-like place, with a bar and lots of tables. It came pre-decorated with lights and was just the right size for my apparently enormous family. So both of my parents are immigrants - both came over as young kids with their parents. On my dad’s side, my gran & grandpa were the only ones who came to Canada but their sisters & brothers scattered all over the place so our family is spread wide & far, though much of it is still in Scotland. But our family in Canada is small. And on my mom’s side, her father & his brother (and wives) came to Canada so my Canadian family on my mom’s side is also small. But their remaining 3 siblings plus the 10 remaining siblings of my mother’s mother are all still in Belgium. All of those tantes and nonkels were invited plus all of their kids and all of their kids’ kids. And a LOT of them came - everyone who was able to, which was almost everyone!
Now, it is no secret that I look like my mom. There are photos of her that I have mistaken for me. When I was young, our neighbour didn’t know my name, so he just called me by my mother’s name. My mother will NEVER be able to deny that I am hers. My sister, on the other hand, looks like my father’s side. There are photos of my aunt that you would swear were of my sister. So each of us strongly resemble family but the opposite sides (and yes, on more than one occasion, we’ve had to answer the question of whether or not we’re sure we’re sisters. We’re sure.) And with this being the first time we’ve met any of my mother’s family, we were introduced to everyone as they came and. And I swear on the stack of boxes of chocolate in my suitcase, it went the exact same with every single person we met…
Mom: This is Tante so-and-so, and her husband such-and-such and they are my insert-relationship-I-forget-two-seconds-after-it-is-out-of-my-mother’s-mouth-because-there-were-too-many-to-remember.
Still Mom: This is my daughter and my other daughter!
Tante so-and-so: AHHHHHH!!!!!
Tante-so-and-so’s eyes widen points at my mother, points at me, points at my mother
Mom: Yes, she looks like me.
Every. Single. Time. Because I look a LOT like my mom. Who looks a LOT like her mother’s side of the family. And it turns out, by the properties of association, that means I look like almost every single tante in the place. It was so weird. I know exactly what my genetic future holds. I think it creeped my sister out a bit, how eerily I looked like everyone else.
Anyway. It was overwhelming to meet so many new relatives at once - we couldn’t keep track of who was who. Luckily, while my mom tried to catch up with everyone, my dad would explain how everyone all fit together, where he could remember. I did draw myself a little family tree at one point because it was too confusing to keep track of. And while most of the tantes and nonkels didn’t speak English, everyone who was under 45 had a very good grasp on English so we were able to have proper conversations and get to know our family better. I know it’s normal for most folks to have big family gatherings but we’ve just never had a lot of family around so it was such a weird and crazy experience for my sister & I. My mom was worried EDP might have been overwhelmed but his family is so big, the second cousins don’t get invited to stuff anymore so it felt nice & cozy to him. But, it was amazing to meet everyone and start to get to know some of them. The time flew by and soon, we were saying good-byes as folks filed out.
We ended our day with a light dinner at a local pub, just a handful of us. After a last drink, we headed back the hotel, saying our goodbyes and promising to come back again soon. Tomorrow, my parents and sister head off to Brussels for a couple of days and then my sister will head off for Antwerp, Ghent and Amsterdam while my parents go back to France for a few days with my great-aunt and great-uncle. EDP and I are heading into Luxembourg tomorrow. It’s a good thing there’s a long drive in the morning. I think I’m going to need to sleep for about three days to recover from the last two. It’s been a very special couple of days and I’m so grateful they happened.
